Patricia’s Story

It’s difficult to place my twelve years of sexual, physical, emotional, and neglectful abuse as a toddler into words that might fit into a story here. As a toddler , the abuse was a continuing . My stepfather started sexually attacking me at age 5, the night of my mom’s bridal shower. His attacks were always as hurtful as possible. He enjoyed the fear in my young eyes.Patricia’s Story
He loved to seek out a reason to beat me in order that he could see that fear. For twelve years he controlled everything in my life. My mother chose to ignore the brutal physical attacks; the bruises & bleeding. She allowed him to require me on their dates at around age 12. My mother walked in on us, me in his bed naked at age 9; but i used to be the one who got punished and sent to my room for the night.

Mom completely neglected my care. there have been never any hugs of tenderness or encouragement. She never bought me a tooth brush, took me to a dentist, or cared about the other need of mine. At age 13 I chose to prevent bathing because he loved to trap me, it didn’t matter who was around. He was a really sadistic monster and my mother turned her head. the whole town knew who my parents were and that they knew if I sneezed, but everyone ignored the filth on my skin, the decay in my mouth, and therefore the monster who was my stepfather.

There was never anyone to speak to or a secure place to run.

This was during the 1970’s; society was beginning to notice , but nobody would challenge the monster I lived with. a day I held my breath and worried about when he would attack. One night i attempted to stop the molestation by putting on my brother’s flannel pajamas – i used to be beaten and thrown round the house for 2 hours.

Since there was never anyone who even questioned my well being or tried to guard me; I became trained to simply accept violent behavior. It led me through a path of over 20 years in brutal violence . One relationship after another was just somebody else to beat on me. The last beating I accepted caused permanent injury which has left me disabled.

It was then beating at 37 once I made the choice that no love was worth this sort of abuse. My children and that i would be safe and that i did it on my very own . Finally, my life changed; once I made the motions to vary it and stop the abuse against me.

It’s been 10 years since I’ve been safe and I’ve chosen to share my story with others. Anyone who survives these crimes should be so pleased with themselves and appreciate their strength. check out what we've skilled , is there really anything in life that would destroy who we are? they could attempt to they could leave their mark, but they can't destroy what's created inside us. you'll thrive in your world and believe that there's happiness after abuse – i'm living proof!!!

May all survivors find their courage to talk out about their pain and tell their story so others will learn. Find your happiness in life, it's there!!!!

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